Reassuring
by Von Uriken
Summary: A SxI oneshot. Might add more later, shoujoai. R


This turned out to be a pretty long one-shot. So, hope you like it, and the standard stuff applies. I don't own Hellsing, Integra, Walter, or Seras. This is a softer look at the SerasxIntegra pairing, don't like it, don't read it. If I get a review or two asking me to, I'll follow it up with something, maybe. R&R

It was a reassuring feeling, one that the leader of the Hellsing would never like to admit publicly. Especially when she never really liked to admit it mentally. Or physically on those late, lonely days; one's where she would far rather sleep until the moon came out.

Night and day were mixed for her, far more than they should be. Even those men and women she had seen working night-shifts in empty offices, they had liked to catch some sleep before the morning would come, so day would be enjoyed at least a little. She had once been like that too, far back in the most secluded areas of her memories. But, even then, she had been known to be cold, been known as she was now, years later.

Sir Integra Hellsing.

She could remember days when she devoted hours to her paper-work. Where she would normally get a short snack before working, she would be filing away constantly, forever the obsessive-compulsive worker that everyone knew. All for a few more minutes of daylight, where she could see the troops, improve morale, and just talk to someone who didn't walk through walls.

Not that he had ever had anything to do with reassuring feelings. Alucard might have been a few of the reasons she locked herself in her office at night, but admitting that weakness would be worse for her than admitting her feelings. She never wished to show weakness before the bastard No Life King. Back then, when she made it her duty to be active in the day, just so she could deny this whole charade that happened during the night, she never truly felt safe. Night or day.

Now, now she constantly felt protected. Odd as it may sound, having a vampire in the wall was the sort of thing that had her working all night now, just so she would be unquestioned for a little while longer. She was working all night, not smiling as she half-heartedly filed away page after page from that stack on her desk.

There was something about the blonde behind her that made her want to just lay back, and fall asleep. Knowing that if her chair tipped over, she would be there to stop her from her falling. Gently chiding her about overworking herself, with a smile on her face.

Before the blonde police girl, Sir Integra never believed vampires could feel. The only thing roughly human, and roughly was like taking an water-color painting and throwing it in the ocean, that she had ever seen on a vampire was that sadistic smirk on Alucard's face. But then, there she was, refusing to drink blood because it was _wrong_. Never had she seen another vampire like this, but she knew very little about them besides how to kill them.

Maybe that was the reason that she had been so surprised when she had come back one day with blood streaks on her face, saying she had killed an innocent. It would have had any other person court-marshaled. Instead, when Integra made it down to her room in the basement, she felt, pity. Pity mixed with something deeper, something that made her want to kiss the bloody tears off her face, and whisper soothingly in her ear that it would be alright, everything would be perfect by the evening.

So Integra had held her, held her for hours as she sobbed her heart out against human's shirt. When she had finally composed herself, a large stain had dried on her shoulder, and puffy ruby-red eyes met the normally hard blue. She knew the basics of what the blonde was thinking when they stared at each other, something along the lines of eyes that were defined using any number of metals and sharp objects, suddenly wavering with confused emotions and intentions.

Neither of them had spoken, and Integra had left with only a look over her shoulder. For the next several days, Integra had locked herself away in her office, finally a 'sanctuary' from the sadistic demon. After adding an unknown amount of blesses and wards. It took her about a week to noticed that after the vampires' work was done, one of them would sit in the shadows and watch her until the darkness lightened into a dull blue.

That was what had been going on for the past several days, and where her thoughts were right now. It wasn't quite as shocking as she wanted it to be, nor as anger-inducing, that a vampire would sit with her constantly while she did nothing but work, watching from the shadows with _caring_ eyes. In fact, it was a reassuring feeling, knowing that if she lay back and fell asleep, and if her chair tipped over, she would catch her in tender arms and carry her to the bed. And she would fall asleep to her gentle chides.

What wasn't quite so reassuring was admitting it, on those lonely days when she would wake up with no vampire, and no work for another few hours, when dusk would come. Those specific few times when she would remember collapsing of exhaustion after overworking herself, just to be put to bed by something that was in no way like the monster she should have been.

Those were the times when her hands would wander in memory of the warm embrace, and she was allowed to touch where only one other person would ever be able to. She knew now, over the course of the long days and nights spent near the reassuring presence, that she had given her body and soul to the human monster. What was worse, she also knew that it didn't bother her as much as it should have.

During those hormonal teenage years when she first met Alucard, she despised herself for ever lusting after the unfeeling sadist. She had never allowed herself to do anything, not even drink, when she knew that face would be watching her when she turned around. Now, with a cigar in one hand, and a short glass of whiskey in the other, she wished subconsciously that she would just let something slip, even the shortest little sentence could make all the difference.

Many people wondered why she stayed up all night, and slept all day. Few believed she herself was already a vampire. Few believed that if she slept during the night 'her vampires' would sneak up on her. None truly knew the truth.

As she looked up, just slightly, to peer into those caring ruby eyes, she wondered briefly if someone did know the truth. She felt her tired and worn body move, clutched deep into an warm embrace with a body she would have thought to be cold. It took only a few moments for the blonde to reach Sir Integra's bed, placing her lovingly into the cushions. Her hand lingered on Integra's jaw, seconds before she leaned down to place a chaste kiss on her forehead and tuck her in.

As the young vampire was about to leave, she heard a word uttered, barely more than a sleepy whisper. "Seras. . ."


End file.
